Captain Falcon's body isn't ready yet. . .

So during this year's E3 Shigeru Miyamoto got interviewed about stuff. This isn't necessarily rare or commonplace but usually when he is interviewed he says something interesting or illuminating about his workplace. like this quote about why there hasn't been a new F-Zero in 10 years.

The pre-E3 coaching post thing!

  You mite have read those “E3 wish list” articles before but this ones different because 1) I say so and B) this isn't about what I want to see as much as what I think the big three need to convince people to buy their little box. People are much more skeptical about next-gen hardware this time. many “console” games run and look great on my PC.  Many business analysts even say that mobile is the be-all end-all future of videogames. (Which is ridiculous but that's another topic for another blog thing.) If you disagree with me, post a comment about it by rolling your face on the keyboard. But remember that I'm never wrong (except when I'm incorrect.)

  Oh, one more thing before I start though. . . This is like, coaching and stuff. . . So only read my “advice” for the company are most invested in emotionally by highlighting the wall of text below their name. No peeking or I'll know. . .

Dead Space 3 is bad and its fans should feel bad

What? You want to know what I think about the Metal Gear Rising demo? It's sexy good! I placed a pre-order weeks ago and will probably give it a proper review. Dead Space 3, however, is that kind of AAA game that I am too much of an alien cat-thing to like. One thing I've learned over the years about earth folk is that they love negativity and only creepy people like Mr. Rogers actually like things.

So I played the DMC demo. . .

 . . . And it's a mediocre game that surprised me with how well it copys the combat of a proper Devil May Cry game. That is the nicest thing I can say about DMC. Since this was a beloved Japanese franchise being shipped off to Westerners with a dubious reputation to give the brand more “global appeal” I had low expectations. I played the demo mentally prepared to see all the life drained out of something I liked. Unfortunately, I was not pleasantly surprised by what developer Ninja Theory has to offer.

Re: How To Play Video Games Peacefully

Normally, when you find someone who is wrong on the Internet you ignore it. Odds are, that person thing is either trolling or a 12-year-old. I know this person isn't a trolling 12 year old. I know this because I read it on psychology today and he's a PhD who uses his real name. Michael Chorost might have written the dumbest thing I've ever read about videogames.

Something, something about YouTube, something, some other thing

So, YouTube updates their essay ever is complaining again. This is nothing new, of course. I remember this happening at least three times. Each time they tried to make improvements to the site I was feeling some features missing (why can't I see all of a channel's videos without going to that channel page anymore?) However there is a feature that YouTube sincerely needs. Without it the site has become a terrific mass.

Something, something something!

      Recently, I realized I haven't posted anything on this blog in nearly a year. This is because 2012 has been a very bad year for me. And by “bad” being tracked by assassins from the Vatican because I know too much about Jesus Christ (and by “too much” I mean the wrong kind of too much.) So get that out of the way first.

JESUS WAS A ZOMBIE WHO THREATENED TO DO OVERRUN THE WORLD WITH UN-DEATH, UNTIL HE WAS STOPPED BY A TIME TRAVELING DRACULA. HE THED FORMED THE CATHOLIC CHURCH TO COVER IT UP. ALL CATHOLIC CLERGY ARE
ACTUALLY VAMPIRES.

Now that I disclose this publicly on the Internet there is nothing they can do. Because Google thinks there a sovereign nation. (And by trying to censor this they would admit that what I'm saying is true.)